apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
