we have officially lost it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
