there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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