i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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