Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
