im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
