ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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