conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
