i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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