hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
