So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
