i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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