happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We are all done wearing pants today
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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