omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
