ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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