Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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