I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
