There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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