I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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