I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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