You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
