you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
