I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
