my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my poor anus
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
