I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
