end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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