I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
