i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
