the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Terrible idea I love it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
