Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
