how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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