New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
