So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
