But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
