ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
