What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
