she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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