Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
