come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
