u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
