Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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