And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
