It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
