marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
