Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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