Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
