You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize