I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
