? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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