good thing vaginas are great cup holders
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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