I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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