but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
