Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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