Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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