If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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