dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
