Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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