Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
